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Lover

People come and go, and no one can ever really quite know
Where another’s been but I want to know you
And I want to show you
And I want to be your lover when that evenin’ sun goes down
Stay awhile I let you inside
Help me feel it
Cuz I want to be your lover when that evenin’ sun goes down
And if you see me I will smile wandering on the wind I fly to find you
Cuz I want to be your lover when that evenin’ sun goes down
And when you see me I will smile wandering on the wind I fly to find you
Cuz I want to be your lover when that evenin’ sun goes down
See I got this worn out shell I let you inside
and at this late late hour all I want is you
And I want to be your lover when that evening’ sun goes down

April Rain

April rain, you dress your pain in black you dress your pain in lace and stiletto heels
Your grandma’s pearls ripped from your neck
They roll and scatter under the bed
Raped and ravaged, you scream for more
April rain, you’re torn and broken cold within you darkness seethes its twisted games
Your daddy’s love a nightmare you’ve repressed
7 years is 2,555 times
Raped and ravaged you close the door
You’re losing weight again, and you can’t sleep at night
And the highs you climb come crashing down
April rain, your mama heard you cry but never asked you why her little girl’s so sad
Your only friend a shot of liquid calm
Cram it down and give a teary smile
Raped and ravaged, you hide your sores
You’re losing faith again, and you can’t feel to fight
And the tears you’d cry you swallow down
April rain, I see you everywhere suffering silently behind a painted smile
Your little girl just like every other
What’s the difference can’t change things now
Raped and ravaged, you know no more
You’re losing weight again, and you can’t sleep at night
And the tears you’d cry you swallow down
You’re losing faith again, and you can’t feel to fight
And the highs you climb come crashing down

1+1=3

Roll over into me tell me how you feel
I feel it coming strong, keep running on not knowing where I’m going
Free this mind free this heart free this soul
I know that someday I’ll be somewhere else but now I’m here and I can’t see before me
Is what happened yesterday gone from me for good?
I don’t know but I gotta live like I might not see you again
What a night what a day what a life I’ve had to bring me here and where I am now spins me forward reaching for the morning
A culmination of an orchestrated life
Stands at the cusp of yearning burning for this lesson I’ve been learning
Take my hand let me go
I will share my tale if you will share yours
Maybe we can make some sense out of the senseless spiral.
Will I still feel this way when I’m alone all day?
I don’t need anything it’s all inside my head my lover said
Don’t you see what I mean?
Take a chance and tell me what you read cuz there’s no wrong or right just other ways of understanding

September

September creeps up slow
How was I to know you wouldn’t love me anymore?
But I didn’t take it too hard
A fire has to dwindle or else it will destroy everything it can
And now the leaves are falling, and I won’t be surprised if I don’t see you again.
I been down, I been low
You don’t know me like you think you do
When I recall your words to me and how I took them easily
My face turns red with shame
And now the leaves are falling, and I won’t be surprised if I don’t see you again
Hold your tongue by me
I won’t believe what I cannot see
Knowing what I need to live is something you could never give
I’d rather just walk away
And now the leaves are falling, and I won’t be surprised if I don’t see you again
And now the leaves are falling, and I would not mind if I never see you again

My Island

God grant me the eyes to see
I been hidin’ for so long I don’t know where to find me
Cuz you were all I knew and I believed in you before myself
God grant me the ears to hear
I been lying for so long I don’t know what is real
Cuz you knew better than me what is this memory that chokes my soul?
But my island served me well and I
Found that you can’t touch me there
And the wind blows and the waves crash and the statue cracks,
And pieces of you chip off and blow into the sea
Goad grant me the voice to speak
I been silent for so long I don’t know how to be free
Cuz it never did any good, so misunderstood and plagued with doubt
But my island served me well and I
Found that you can’t touch me there
And the wind blows and the waves crash and the statue cracks,
And pieces of you chip off and blow into the sea
God grant me the strength to heal
I been bleedin’ for so long I forgot how to feel
But statues will fall and hearts will break but I’ll find a way, I’ll find my way
But my island served me well and I
Found that you can’t touch me there
And the wind blows and the waves crash and the statue cracks,
And pieces of you chip off and blow into the sea, into the sea

Boys

Tom, Biff, and Doug hang out in front of the beer store
Their white t-shirts creased across bulging biceps
Tucked into braided leather-belted khaki shorts
On a mild summer evening, in a small college town
They look like models, they look like frat boys
Like the athletes in the right guard ads
They wear their hair short and their legs are thick and hairy
Down in their Nike cross-trainers without socks
They toss the football around and call each other “fag”
When one of them misses a pass
They look like models, they look like frat boys
Like the athletes in the pert plus ads
They buy a case of natty lite
And go home to masturbate to this month’s penthouse pet
That their dad ordered for them
Tom and Doug got Biff a stripper for his 19th birthday bash
The keg was flowing and she was lowing
And the next day they told all their friends
That she was nasty, skanky trash
Yes they’re so high above her, cuz
They look like models, they look like frat boys
Like the athletes in the Gillette razor ads
They don’t have to answer, they don’t have to think
They know they can get by on charm…

Awake

I blame myself for what you lack
Aching shapeless in a sea of tears
God please save me from this apathy
I need a place to cry
Cuz I may not be so free
But I don’t long for days gone by
Find your way to me I pray
I need a place to fly
Cuz I been here before and the words come ringing back, do I believe?
When I wake up from this dream
Will you be there to dance my love?
I try to tell myself that I don’t care, but I do
I need a place to shine
Cuz I been here before and the words come ringing back, do I believe?
And all I really want in life
Someone to pass these days beside
I’ve never had to work so hard for anything in my life
I need a place to try
Cuz I been here before and the words come ringing back, do I believe?

Birth Trauma

I’m at the end of wanting so long
To speak of life awaiting, what is truth?
To see behind your eyes, oh, I would
Would I be disappointed, I don’t know
Shutting out the light with my own hand
I breathe the stagnant fumes of your demands
And I wonder do you even notice me choking?
So useless I have pondered one last thought
To be alone or crowded I am caught
To think these things would kill me
I, I must rebuke what I’ve been taught
A fear of death consumes my drive to live
What will I fail to do, or be, or give?
And I feel this spinning in my head
A love so free would be the end
I can admit that I don’t know the way
A dream of mine to be okay
Love spent by indiscriminate hands
Wasted not but aching I will never be the same

SOB

Hey now do you really have to tell me
I got big pores, big feet, and I’m a dork
Cuz I didn’t know just like I didn’t know
My teeth are yellow and my ass is wide
You’re a lousy no good dumb-ass son of a bitch
It’s inconvenient for you to take me home
10-minute drive is such a long haul across town
You’d rather make me do the walk of shame
Than to put yourself out at all
Goddamn, you’re so lame
You’re just a lousy no good dumb-ass son of a bitch
Well I ain’t got nothing-against your mother
But the things you say and do, they really make me wonder
She didn’t have much to start with
But even if she done her best
It wasn’t enough to prepare you for my test
Cuz you’re a lousy no good dumb-ass son of a bitch
My daddy told me to accept nothing less than a man
Who’ll respect me and give me his best
But you’re a lousy no good dumb-ass son of a bitch
You won’t pay for the movie, you split the dinner check
You say you don’t believe in Christmas or birthday gifts
Is this equality, is this liberation?
I don’t think so I don’t think so
I just think that you’re a lousy no good dumb-ass son of a bitch

Meditation Song

When you’ve nothing left to prove to anyone
To yourself or to the sky
Take my hand and sit with me
In this holy place
And I will teach you how to fly
The rain will fall, the sun will shine
But there’s plenty of time
So you can leave your mind behind awhile
When the clouds cluster above your head
And you’d rather stay in bed all day
Take my hand and you will find
It’s a state of mind
Everything will be okay
The rain will fall the sun will shine,
But you won’t run out of time
So you can leave your mind behind awhile
I heard a bluebird sing the blues
So sad and sweet
He sang, “Tweedle-dee-dee
I’m so blue since you left me!”
Bluebird, take to the sky
In this lonely place,
And what you seek is what you’ll find
The rain will fall the sun will shine
Until the end of time
So you can leave your mind behind awhile
I have died and I have nothing but love to give
No words left to speak but truth
You can find me in this holy place
I’ve nothing left to hide, nothing left to try
Noting left to buy
Nothing left to satisfy
Nothing left to analyze or categorize
Nothing left to reach for nothing left to preach for,
To look up to just look inside and see what you can find.

The Light

The light that shines in you
I love the light that shines in you
Born of love, you’ve traveled far
Born a man (woman, brother, sister) from some distant star

Sweet Gone Daddy Blues

I loved a man in San Francisco
He had a big soft feather bed
That California lovin’ damn near made me lose my head
Oh and I loved a man in Pemberton
Who didn’t even own his shirt
And he had no bed to lay me in, so we just did it in the dirt
My baby walks with a swagger
And he stand so long and lean
He’s the sweetest gone daddy that this mama ever seen
Oh won’t you play me sugar
Like you play that old guitar
Tune me up and strap me on, pluck my strings and strum my chords
Oh you sweet gone daddy,
Won’t you cast your eye my way
Bring your lovin’ home to me
Oh sugar don’t you make me beg

Always Home

I’ve traveled many miles to be here now
To hear your words, to see you smile
To feel your love and to give mine too
To love the little things you do
I’m always home beside you
On the way I’ve slept along your roadsides
Bathing in and drinking form your streams
Working in the sunshine with your rich dark soil
Talking to you in the night
I’m always home beside you
Your crashing waves your stars your skies
You’re every grain of sand
Your trees and flowers blooming
Fire, water, air and land
I’m always home beside you
Every day I marvel at the miracle
Of all creation on this earth
I sing to you with joy and thanks
For this gift of life to remember who we are
I’m always home beside you
This planet is my mother
My father is the sky
Through all my days I feel this truth
Which keeps my soul alive
I’m always home beside you
Your love is all that’s real
Your love is all that’s real
My brothers and my sisters
We have nothing to fear
Cuz love is all that’s real
We’re always home beside you

Open Up Your Eyes

We look for safety in who we think we are
We say “This is me, this is what I see,” but
It’s an illusion of consistency
Caught up in the details
Assumptions swift and clean
“Little child know better than to question the machine!”
You don’t know what to do
What you should what you want to do
I’ll tell you what to do -
Drop this load and cut these ties
Go somewhere alone awhile,
Breathe deep and open up your eyes!
What do you see?
Can you accept your humanity?
Are you lonely?
Can you admit your anxiety?
Cuz ignorance was bliss
Before it started to piss you off
And you got smart to the lies they tell you
And the bullshit they sell you about
“Hey, well that’s just the way things are!”
You work so hard - for what?
To buy time at the end of your life to see
What you missed as you ran the race
And now it slaps you in the face and
Sometimes don’t you just want to scream?
But you just shrug your shoulders
And candy coat your sorrow to get you through tomorrow
Turn on your TV, isolate and medicate and shake
Your head at all the freaks like me who say it’s not too late…

Lonesome Kitchen Blues

Who’s feedin’ you baby?
You stopped comin’ round
Who’s feedin’ you baby?
You got me so down
Oh, I’m lonely
Won’t you tell me?
Who’s feedin’ you baby?
Cuz lord knows, it ain’t me
You come round on Monday
I cooked up some beans
But you wasn’t hungry
In know what that means
Oh, I’m lonely
Won’t you tell me
Who’s feedin’ you baby?
Cuz Lord knows it ain’t me
You come round on Tuesday
I got somethin’ sweet
But you just walk out on me baby
Leave me in heat
I’m lonely
Won’t you tell me?
Who’s feedin’ you baby?
Cuz Lord knows it ain't me
Now you’s a man
You gots to eat
But you ain’t been round my kitchen
In over a week
I’m lonely
Won’t you tell me?
Who’s feedin’ you baby?
Cuz Lord knows it ain’t me.

Sick Love

I told you to stay away
But you keep comin’ round
How many times do we have to fight his out
Before you realize I’m gone to stay
You got a sick love you gotta take it away from me
My mama told me that you tried to call
But she knew better than to give my number away
You say that you been wonderin’ if I’m okay
But I know you just want to dump your shit on me, yeah
You got a sick love you gotta take it away from me
Why can’t you just forget that I exist
I’ve moved on with my life and I suggest you do the same
Cuz I don’t feel connected
And I don’t’ need your friendship
And I don’t’ want to hold the hand that held me down
You got a sick love you gotta take it away from me